Who alarmed the cake .......🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😜🍰

Well I thought today that the school had installed the best diet cheat detector ever.

Picture the scene - it’s a colleagues birthday - I’ve bought some cakes she says - oh lovely says I. Anyway the day unfolds and I find myself nowhere in the cake location - I have clean forgotten about the lovely cakes by lunchtime to be honest.

I’m leaving work, not many of us left - it’s late and I’m very hungry - I go via the front of the building - ohhhhh I think as I approach the reception area - I wonder if there are any cakes left?  I decide to just go have a peek and see. Sure enough there they are - sitting like a beautiful crown on the desk. Ohhhh they look scrumptious. Oh what the heck I think, I know my tea will be ready when I get home but I’m going to have one of those beauties. I mean I expect I will walk most of the calories off by the time I get to the car 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️.

 I select my prize, thanking my wonderful colleague in my head. I lift this gourmet delight to my lips and there was an almighty woooooo wooooo woooooo woooooo. A look of horror goes over my face - who alarmed the cakes!??!!! It takes a second for me to realise that the fire alarm is going off 🙈, so now I’m left ramming the cake in before the site team burst in to sort out the alarms. (Notice how I finish my cake before worrying about my safety first 🤣).  Honestly the guilt eating that cake it felt like some naughty sin - well it was I guess - like someone was watching and as soon as my resolve was gone and that sugar hit my lips all hell broke loose. Thankfully it was a false alarm.

On the plus side I did get a few more steps in as I accompanied the site manager to check all was well  in the building before I headed for home.  Not the most enjoyable cake eating experience 😂🙈🍰. Great diet strategy though 🤣.

Very expensive hair washing technique 😂🏊🏻‍♀️

So I’ve sat and lazed the weeks away
But that all changed just today.
I finally made it to the pool
Now I’m feeling rather cool. 😎

I spent the winter hibernating
But today’s has been quite invigorating.
You see my poor hair was in need
It desperately needed a good clean.

So there was only one thing to do
Go for a swim - it was well overdue.
I’d not used the gym since I don’t when
So it was time to restart the swimming again.

Besides my hair really was lank
And I didn’t want to smell like a septic tank.
So I packed my gym bag and off I went
No better way for an evening to be spent.

After four lengths I was gasping for breath
This could turn out to be the dance of death 🙈
I took stock of my current position
I didn’t need to be a woman on a mission.

The hard bit was done I was in the pool
And after a full day at work in the school. 👍🏻
So I decided to just take my time
Turn this into a bit of downtime.

So I went up and down at a leisurely pace
After all who on earth said it was ever a race.
We all know the reason you came for a swim 🏊🏻‍♀️
Because your hair is looking dirty and grim. 🙈

So I’ve broken my duck - stepped back into fitness
And you will all have to be my witness.
That I will keep it going and not give in
My commitment is truly hanging by a pin!

The other reason to keep going
More so than keeping my hair glowing
I need to get value for money
And this is the part that’s really not funny.

That hair washing exercise seemed just fine
But I’ve only been swimming three or four times
That means that washing my greasy dirty hair
Has cost me a ton so far this gym year 🤣🙈🤣.

#GymMembership #NotUsed #Ouch #Swim
#Gym #Sauna #Expensive #VFM 😜

It’s a Nerd thing ......🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤔

It’s a Nerd thing ......🤦🏻‍♀️🙈🤔

Wow who knew holiday time could be so stressful - I think this may be a sign that I need to keep working 😂.

So my beautiful grandchildren arrived home for a few days Wednesday night - I went to work Thursday but got home a bit earlier to make a nice family tea (Waltons theme tune playing in my head). I’m mid beef cobbler when they descend upon us having been out and about all day. It was at this point that I first heard those dreaded words “Isaac has put a Nerd in his ear” - he can’t have I think, although I can quite see why a 4 year old boy may think mmmm I wonder if this yellow sweet would go in my ear 🤷🏼.

After much protesting - man that boy could give Donald Trump a run for his money - we pinned him down, torch out and sure enough as the torchlight shone down his tiny ear canal there lay a glorious yellow Nerd. Right ok it’s time to call NHS direct (although we all know where this is going) my beef cobbler is now bubbling away in the oven awaiting the “cobbles” to adorn it any time now. So there it was the answer we knew was coming - you need to go straight to A and E - mmmmm I look lovingly at my beef cobbler bubbling away in the oven  - I quickly slap the scone topping on to it - pop it back in the oven and bid it farewell (emotional moment). Would I ever get my tea? Who knew!

So off we go, Isaac is now assuming a crab like position with his head - keep it tilted they had told us, to make sure it doesn’t go down any deeper. Errrr right ok??? In he waddles to Withybush hospital - head glued to his shoulder - he is by now (after lots of tears) a little boy who’s very compliant as the realisation has set in that “said sweet” is lodged in there 🙈.  The receptionist looks at us like we are a bit mad when we explain why he is looking at her with this strange sideways look - "it’s ok" she says to Isaac "you don’t have to tilt your head anymore, that won't make any difference honestly".

So we perched on the tiny children’s chairs waiting, knees up in our chests (I am actually wondering if I will be able to get up out of this tiny chair) - waiting and hoping this would be an easy extraction (the Nerd not my bottom from the chair!). The fab NHS staff don’t keep us waiting long. Amused nurses looking at the bag of Nerds we are clutching - so it was one of these he stuck in his ear we tell them. It’s hard not to smirk but poor Isaac is a little concerned at the implements coming out and the industrial size light.  Well try as they might with hooks and suction it was not budging. So we are off to Glangwilli next 🙈.  Isaac leaves the hospital shrugging his shoulders “oh well never mind” he says - he’s missed the point that we are going to another hospital - this kid thinks he’s just going to have to live with a Nerd in his ear forever 🤣.

We leave there and decide to go via home as we had no money and thought we may need it to pay for parking. As we run back into the house I think, here is my moment, reunited with my beef cobbler - there she sits on the counter - nicely browned and smelling fab.  I whack some in a bowl - moving picnic in the car - sorted.

So it’s now about 9pm and we are all flagging - fortunately we didn’t have to wait long at Glangwilli to see the ENT doctor. We pull out our Nerds - the pile now a little depleted due to hunger 😂. Out comes another suction tool but alas another fail - we are told come back to see "Mr Ed" at his clinic tomorrow morning he may be able to get it out.  We would be fast tracked through, first appointment of the day. Oh and they have provisionally enquired about theatre availability and that would be Monday.  My confidence levels slipped slightly - like when I watched Wales grand slam hopes slip away.......

Oh man I wonder if Mr Ed knew the pressure on his shoulders - it was him or theatre - so Mr Ed really did have to pull it out of the bag - or the ear! Tired and hungry Macdonalds meals are called for (not me I’m as full as an egg 🤣). It is 10:30pm and we are ordering the patient a cheeseburger happy meal. Oh the irony when they bring it out in a Mr Bump box 😏🤕.

So my day off and we are up and out early. Back to Glangwilli we are feeling a little important - reporting at the front desk - yeah we are here to see Mr Ed - it’s an emergency appointment - not so important when you follow this with “yeah he’s got a Nerd stuck in his ear - he put it in there himself, he was saving it for later 🤔”.  Straight in to (who in my head now I’m calling) Big Ed. Yes come on Big Ed - think of it like a game of operation with Isaac being the live buzzer. To be fair he was very brave - that may have been due to the levels of bribery which over the course of events had escalated.  We went from a Happy Meal to a Folly Farm visit to a cuddly toy from Folly Farm to a large cuddly toy from Folly Farm to adopting a Rhino - I drew the line at buying a rhino - where did he think we were going to keep that 😱🙈.

Anyway within 10 minutes Mr Ed had retrieved the pesky sweet with his specialist "hoover" (probably a Henry hoover I expect 😀) - hallelujah - our hero.

So it’s home again and we collect his sister to go to Folly Farm - fortunately for me all talk of animal adoption had been forgotten but man he was going to have a huge cuddly toy, that was all he was talking about. I’m nodding and agreeing praying he’s not eyed up the "standing giraffe" for £140 🙈.

We decide to go to the fairground - now who doesn’t love a bit of hook a duck - Isaac's favourite - he has a couple of goes - the usual - anything from the bottom row. Isabelle rocks up for a go - well the chances must be slim to nothing but she only goes and scores top shelf. The biggest cuddly dolphin you’ve ever seen (well not life size obviously 🙄 and alright maybe not the BIGGEST ). This was the point when Isaac felt his world had fallen apart - big tears and tantrum - he wanted a big cuddly toy too. No number of but nana’s getting you a big cuddly from the shop was working. Like the fools we are we agree to let him have another go - yup it was never happening was it. Anything from the bottom shelf. Waaaaahhhhhh - honestly you’d think he’d been told Folly Farm was closing down and he’d never see the penguins again or play hook a duck again. Stress levels super charged.

We manage to persuade him to come to the shop for his hearts desire. What does he want the huge PINK rainbow TY unicorn. I’m all on board - let him have it I say - modern man owning it - you get that one Isaac. He eventually rethinks this and gets a funky blue/purple/yellow psychedelic bear type thing. Oh and please could he have this blue thing because he loved it. “I love it nana, please can I have it, please” - me “what is it?” Isaac “I don’t know but I love it”. 🤦🏻‍♀️😂. It’s a wind up torch Isaac. I’m past caring by now and in need of a large red wine. Have the wind up torch I announce - that kid is so full of love for his gullible nana at this point.

So we leave the shop with a large purple/blue bear thing, blue wind up torch and TY two snap bands for Isabelle. I felt like standing at the till shouting - anyone else having a crisis and need a big cuddly toy in their life to make it all good again - no - anyone like a wind up torch, it is the best thing ever - no - anyone else slept with a Nerd last night (ooops no maybe not ask that question) 😂.

So home we go - two happy children - two worn out adults - a pile of memories and a resolution to never buy Nerds again!

A day in the life of ......

J C Hicks copyright 21-2-2020

Tree hugging beast

Most dog owners have normal dogs

They don’t need to appear in random blogs.

They trot along tails up high

Noses pointing to the sky. 

My little fur baby seems a bit crazy

He’s definitely far from lazy.

He loves to go on muddy walks

All the way it’s like he talks. 

Singing here and whining there

People passing don’t half stare

A singing pooch is quite a feat

It’s truly something hard to beat.

But singing isn’t where it ends

Although that drives you round the bend.

He has this rather strange obsession 

Which does help get out any aggression.

You see he has a real dear friend

It’s something that tends to bow and bend.

Most dogs love to chase a stick

Run after a ball that you kick.

But not my Benji oh no no

He finds a branch hanging down low.

Jumps aboard and doesn’t let go

How he does it - we don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️.

He hangs on tight with all his might

Swings about because he’s so light.

He’s hanging on bouncing up and down 

Lucy Lou rolling in fox poop she’s found 🤢

But he doesn’t stop there on no not him

Swinging on branches is just one of his things.

He’s a modern day boy don’t you know

Tree hugging is also in his portfolio 😂.

He surveys his land as he walks

Maybe looking for a tree that talks 🌳.

Once he’s found he’s chosen tower

Up he climbs with amazing power.

Perhaps he’s hunting squirrels or chasing birds

There he goes singing his doggy words 🙈🐶.

He stands so proud up his tree

Saying to all look at me.

He’s got no fear of any height

I’m sure he’s going to take flight.

He stands there oh so proud and tall

Despite the fact he’s only small 🐶.

So when we are out for a stroll 

Please remember Benji has no self control

He thinks he’s a bird or a plane

Or maybe he just needs a lions mane 🙈

Good job he’s got Sally keeping him safe

She really is his best human mate. 

Dog walker extraordinaire 

His doggy adventures she loves to share ❤️

Diets - the struggle is real 😂🧁🙈❤️

I’ve gone all day without a treat
Not even a single sneaky sweet.
Well ok there was an incident in the kitchen
Which involved the pesky bread bin.
But I’ve tried so hard to be strong
Why are treat-less days so long?

I fear that Shrove Tuesday is looming
So many pancakes I will be consuming 🙈.
I best sign up for a treat-less Lent
40 days of discontent 🤦🏻‍♀️
Chocolate bars luring me in
Knowing they are my deadly sin.🙅🏻‍♀️

Why oh why is food so nice
It’s my poor thighs which pay the price.
Everywhere seems to be
Naughty things for you - for me. 🧁
I’ve gone all morning and not eaten
I think this diet has me beaten.

I slowly climb upon the bathroom scales
Which seem to shout out “ahoy beached whale” 🐳.
I look down in despair
Another pound on they declare!
That can’t be right, it can’t be true
Now I’m feeling truly blue!

I mean I’ve been so very healthy
I should also be feeling mighty wealthy
I mean the struggle I’ve endeavoured
By stomach thinks my throats been severed 🙈.
How long - how long has it been
Feels like ages I’ve been eating clean.

I check the calendar with such hope
Oh flip I feel like such a dope.
I count the days that can’t be right
I felt time was going like the speed of light
Has it really only been a week 🤦🏻‍♀️
No wonder I’ve got the same physique.

😂

Diets - the struggle is real 🤪 - but that said beauty comes from within. So don’t let the mirror, scales or people rule your life - just be you ❤️. Happy, healthy and wise!

In a world where you can be anything

In a world where you can be anything
Be kind

In a world where you can be anything
Be caring

In a world where you can be anything
Be thoughtful

In a world where you can be anything
Be generous

In a world where you can be anything
Be there

In a world where you can be anything
Be tolerant

In a world where you can be anything
Be fair

In a world where you can be anything
Be selfless

In a world where you can be anything
Be a listener

In a world where you can be anything
Be nice

In a world where you can be anything
Don’t judge

In a world where you can be anything
Be you

❤️

#MIND #MentalHealth #Stigma #LetsTalkAboutIt
#LoveOneAnother

Eat the rainbow - begin to glow 🌈

I rest my arms upon my belly
It’s wobbling like a beautiful jelly.
I don’t really mind my muffin top fat
So long as I’m healthy I am happy with that.

However my diet has been pretty shocking
Those cakes and biscuit I’ve been a rocking.
I need to stop and take stock of it all
At least I will bounce should I have a great fall 🙈.

Tomorrow I will start, I promise I will
I will stop stuffing food down - just eat my fill.
The world is full of a rainbow of food 🌈
So why eat the junk when you are feeling blue?

It seems I like puddings, chocolates and sweets
I’m also obsessed with my daily portion of meat.
So I’m sitting here talking myself fit
Of my rolls, lumps and bumps I must get a grip!

So as the sun rises tomorrow - or maybe the rain just stops
I shall stop eating everything until my belly goes pop!
A rainbow of food I shall endeavour to eat
And if I could go to the gym that would also be neat.

So wish me luck folks as my willpower is low.
I may end up face planting a whole chocolate gateau!
I will find my resolve and leave the junk well alone
Although when I see it my heart will just groan.

That junk food is addictive - my terrible vice
It all just tastes so terribly nice!
But I will think of my rainbow if I’m feeling weak
And try to remember junk sticks to your butt cheek!

Hello February - grow like a Daffodil

I think I officially slept through all of January - not quite but it felt like it.  Like a lot of people I have not been feeling myself by a long way - so many illnesses doing the rounds and sometimes us humans are not very good at self care are we!

I was beginning to think I would forever be spending my weekends in my faithful, loyal and comfy PJs.  Man a girl definitely needs a good cosy pair of jimjams and a dressing gown - if you cannot sink a wine or gin or demolish a kilo of chocolate then your fall back is ALWAYs PJs and dressing gown 🤣.

So it has been a bleak start to 2020 - I am seriously considering a re-think on my July half marathon for 2 reasons:-
1) I have not done any running for so long now by trainers have upped and left home to go and live with some woman who promised them a life of regular runs (or they may be buried in the bottom of my gym bag..... 🤔
2) And this one is mega unfair - somehow I have done something to my Achilles tendon - no idea how - I have not been doing anything. Honestly my body and mind are falling apart!  I am contemplating the way forward with this one at this stage - strengthening and stretching seem key.

So all in all I have spent January sat on the sofa, wallowing in a massive, deep, never ending pool of self pity.  Maybe it was a touch of SAD syndrome thrown in for good measure - who knows.

Tell what I do know .........

This week I most definitely have felt much better.  Actually left the house yesterday - and no not just to go to work (well that would not be happening on a Saturday anyway!).  I left the house in a social capacity and followed it up with a fantastic walk with our beautiful (if not slightly crazy) dogs.  The sun was shining (that did not last long did it 🌞 #StormCiara) - there were signs of Spring everywhere too so all was well in the world.  If those bulbs can stay underground all that time and use all their energy to force their way back through the earth, mud and soil and emerge victorious, proud and strong then surely we can do this as well.  It was lovely to see those daffodils standing up loud and proud and those delicate snowdrops peeping through the hedgerows, like someone who is not sure if they have been invited to the party or not, so just slip in quietly and observe the wondrous hedgerow around them, peeping their delicate snow white heads through the greenery - giving us all hope and joy.

So I feel I have been like the humble but beautiful daffodil - hidden from view but I am slowly but surely getting back out there.  Maybe not running but just living and enjoying life one day at a time.  If I develop a great big yellow head though you will let me know won't you?😜

Happy Sunday folks ❤