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Saturday, 4 April 2020

Home schooling - oh what fun 😂

Home Schooling - Covid19 Style

We are going to have to isolate a while
But honestly we can do lots that will make us smile.
Little Lucy can draw rainbows to her heart's content
Ben can play with his Lego - that counts as learning, right?

Let's set up a home schooling spot
I’m no teacher but we can learn together 
It’s going to be wonderful, mummy teaching maths
I am sure there may be the odd lot of tears or tantrums

We will sit for hours reading books and cuddling on the settee
Chill a while, in peace and quiet, watching buzzing bees.
Calm mornings - coffee still hot for a change

Two weeks on and here we are - still stuck in the house
The home school area in a pile - the chalk turned to dust.
I haven’t washed my hair in days, it’s looking rather lank
I had to have a shower as the kids told me that I stank.

I’ve switched from buying bottles of wine, it’s better from the box
Sick of tripping over Ben’s building blocks!
Lucy rolling on the floor - protesting again
I need her to be quiet as I’m now a homeworker. 

I’m trying to keep my cool - just carry on 
My windows full of pictures they've drawn
Will I ever get those marks off the glass - do I even care
Oh jeepers, now they want a picnic sitting on the grass.

No, I haven’t got sausage rolls, strawberries, crisps or cake 
Please don’t cry again because you cannot have your way
I am fed up of explaining we must stay in, come what may.

You want to bake again - of course you do  
But I have no butter, eggs, flour or patience 
Oh no... here you go another great big howler.

My husband isn't much help, furloughed, watching the TV 
Moaning when we say we are going to do Oti
But you’ve already done Joe Wicks P.E.
His whining voice is really grating on me

It’s such a long day I say through gritted teeth 
Let's at least try to wear them out 
He lets out a long big sigh, handing over the remote
Why don’t you take a walk, I say, let me get you your coat 

Who knew there would be pressure to keep the house so clean
Because we FaceTime everyone from work to Aunty Jean.
Houses immaculate
I’m just searching for a corner that looks half clean. 

Oh man this isn’t what I imagined, it’s not the family dream
My husband and my kids are a load of drama queens. 
They’ve fought over the iPad and what to have for lunch
Is it just me who is worrying what comes next

We are now living in our PJs and nobody really cares
For the last two days I've had some Weetabix welded to my hair 
What’s the point in doing makeup, nails or hair.
The highlight of our week is the weekly national clap
Our once a week nod and wave to the neighbours

At last it's  Easter and the school work put to bed
How do these teachers not go off their heads.
Teaching is so fraught and frustrating
By 3 pm I am seeking out my companion -
that glass of red wine calling my name. 

Those social media posts where families look idyllic
Drive you round the bend and make you imbecilic.
That photo - a snapshot, not showing what went before
When the kids were lying face down crying on the floor 

When all is said and done
It was just a chapter 
I mean when will we get to live in our PJs again?

J C Hicks Copyright 3-4-2020





















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