Lunch anyone ......?
What would you like for lunch I yell and the answers still the same.
Oh I don’t mind anything - whatever - what have you got?
I reply with what I know will be a pointless list.
You see my husband is a fussy old sod who claims he’s really not
But when it comes to lunchtime he always ask - what you got?
So here we go I think, the same charade we repeat it daily
I will now list everything and this is what he will say
No I don’t like soup, you know I don’t, unless you have some Oxtail
Did I have Oxtail yesterday - no I didn’t - I smile but then exhale.
How about cheese on toast all bubbling, golden and hot
I’ll even treat you by putting a bit of tomato on the top.
No I had that earlier in the week I don’t fancy it today
I sigh and can't help but think he’s playing food fore play!
How about some beans on toast they never fail to please
I see his nose start to turn up and I know he’s playing lunch tease.
Right ok, it’s fine I say, still smiling through my gritted teeth
Honestly my face says I love you dearly but I’m seething underneath
A nice poached egg on crisp white toast - hah that will hit the mark
Oh god he’s going to reject it and that was my trump card.
How about a nice ham sandwich with all the salad trimmings
I’ve gone off ham to be honest - by now I’m considering slimming 🙈.
My final offer to him - a sumptuous toastie - hot and tasty
There is a glimmer of hope, he’s rubbing his chin - mmm maybe.
Yes we are in - this is progress, an opening has appeared
Now I need to seal the deal before this option disappears.
A toasted sandwich with ham and cheese does that sound ok?
Mmmmm yes ok that sounds alright - oh good of you to say 😕.
Isn’t that like cheese on toast but just the other way round
And I’m sure not two minutes earlier you said I don't like ham.
But I’m won’t raise these points as I finally have his choice
He’s finally made his mind up - hallelujah let’s rejoice!
I’ve wasted half my lunch break leant against the door
Losing my grip on patience - eyes fixed firmly on the floor.
Maybe I should issue menu cards at the start of each day
Then we wouldn’t be in this loop that each day we replay!
So lunch is sorted once again and I breathe a sigh of relief
Maybe in future I could consider sipping an aperitif 🤔.
He could study food choices for as long as he desired
While I just stand there sipping booze and slowly getting wired!
J C Hicks copyright 12-5-2020
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