Well the day was here - issue forced by impending rain - or so Georgie boy advised me (that could just have been a fib to make me do the dreaded outdoor task). Yes it was time to take on the meadow, the jungle, the luscious green green grass of home. The lawns need mowing. I got in from work and was told I had about an hour of daylight left so I best get a move on. Ok boss 👌🏻. “ I will get the mower out straight away” I announce in a determined tone. Woah there lady I’m told, he tells me that apparently I have to strim first - really? Is that absolutely necessary- apparently so 🙈😕. So I go to pull on my wellies (which frankly have seen better days) - I do a quick spider/mouse check before pulling them on but clearly this footwear is not even good enough for wildlife to take up residence in. I drag the strimmer out - I’m ready for action 💪🏻👊🏻. In the meantime our son had strolled in through the door - well I was straight on him - come on we are mowing the lawn. He pulled a face, the sort that only a teenager can pull - HOWEVER he is not a teenager - no he’s 24 so he can wipe that look off his face (Andrew Lloyd Webber song there I feel 😂:-
Take that look off yor face! (Take that look off yor face!) I can see through
your smile! (I can see through your smile!) You would love to be right, I bet, you
didn't sleep good last night, couldn't wait to bring all of these bad news to my
door.
Oh yes he would love to be right - stood with his powerful stance of youth thinking there is no way I’m mowing the lawn. I was there ready, power tripping him by doning my flowery wellies and brandish a strimmer. “Come on boy there is rain forecast”. That pretty much seemed to break him- that or the fact that he took one look at me holding the strimmer in an awkward fashion and thought jeepers there is no way I’m letting that woman take charge of a mower. He was in 😂.
So I was off, plugged in and ready to attack the foot long grass. I have to say I feel an unfair advantage cutting my teeth on strimming duties at the point when the grass is at its longest and clinging to its winter dampness. Never mind I was away - push the button and just guide it along I thought - easy. Within about 5 seconds a piece of lovely Pembrokeshire slate chipping had found its way out of its winter hidey hole and flew up at speed straight into my leg. Ouch! George found that highly amusing. I carried on like he trooper I am. I was having a bit of bother with this strimmer it was like it had a life of its own - I had to consult the works supervisor Georgie boy (who is stood despairing, wishing he could just get on with it himself) - “how do I get all these straggly bits” - easy he says adjust the angle a bit. So off I go twisting and turning the beast around only to look down and see great big clumps coming up leaving bare mud behind. Ooops - I’m sure nobody will notice 🙈😂🙊. No wonder there were bits flying up in to my face - I’m sure that should not be happening. I was glad I wore glasses otherwise I feel you should be issued with safety glases🤓 - and thigh pads!
Back lawn done I move swiftly on to the front lawn, which I felt would be much easier as there were boarders so surely the edges would be easier to get at. Well that is when I surpassed myself. I’m merrily negotiating my way along the front border, thinking how lovely the daffodils are looking. This border lark was quite hard I was trying to remember the supervisors instructions to change the angle to get at the different area, the straggly bits - that was when it happened - zzzzzzzzzz oh yes - great I’m thinking - this is going ok - as I then watch to my dismay as I chop the tops off a beautiful clump of bright yellow daffodils. One minute standing proudly upright and majestic next flown at speed across the front lawn. Ooops - again!
All I can say is thank goodness the boy done good and stepped up and took charge of the mower - I dread to think what untold damage I could have done if I had been let lose with that bad boy 😂. I think I would have been mowing the road 🙈.
I was also saddened to learn that the whole job ended with “housework” as I had to sweep the paths. “How on earth do you get all that grass off the fabulous Pembrokeshire slate chippings?” I asked the governor. He just sighs, hangs his head down and says “it doesn’t normally go all over the stones”. Okay then - little whistle, scuffle of feet - “well I best crack on and get all this kit away”.
Gosh hasn’t 2019 been enlightening 😂.
A word to all you people, especially my fellow sisters who live alone and to you this is all part of the norm - I salute you. Fair play - I take my hat off to all of you, in fact I think we should all meet at The Plough for a Wednesday wobble gin night to exchange tips. Can I just close by saying I will not be burning my banytime soon - well let’s face it I could not be trusted with an open flame 🔥🤔🥴🤭.
No comments:
Post a Comment