The town that is no more …..

The town that is no more …..

There once stood sanctuaries 

Now reduced to rubble 

What once was a bustling town 

Now merely bricks, blocks and mortar

Nowhere safe to live or work

A community’s history flatten to the ground

All in the name of war

A war raging on day by day 

Children can no longer play in the street 

No dogs playing freely in what was green space 

A town a shadow of what it once was

All signs of life gone without trace 

People living in fear 

Displaced from their homes

Not knowing what their future may hold

So much loss and so much destruction 

A war that still rages on …….

The messenger from heaven

The messenger from heaven 

I sit and stare intently 

At the garden in full bloom

It’s a place of pure beauty 

It’s where you come to roam

The serenity which surrounds me

Is pure and so divine

It washes and envelops me

It’s like there is no time 

There you sit and look at me

Your head tipped to one side

You hop, jump and walk about

Sometimes it’s like you glide

You often stop in just one place

And I look into your eyes

I wonder if you are a gift from heaven 

My mouth turns to a smile

You seem to sit for such a time 

Just still and majestic 

You live a very simple life

Where mine is very hectic 

I reflect upon the paths we tread

And can see they are so different 

Yours is all about surviving 

Mind feels quite materialistic 

I sense you are a messenger 

From someone no longer here

I wish you could just hop up

And whisper in my ear 

Something startles you 

And you fly away

Mr Blackbird I do so hope

You will be back one day 

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 20/5/23

A hole in your soul

 I saw a little piece of you fall away last night.

A tiny hole bored into your soul.

You weren’t aware of this tiny crack opening up.

But I saw pain washing over you like a wave.

Life is closing in around you, creeping up silently.

Every day somehow feeling like it’s a chore.

Every day another layer of sadness washing in.

Suffocating you and I see you fading away.

No light or happiness filtering in 

Days feel like darkness and nights never ending.

I saw a little piece of you fall away last night

Let me help heal your soul and get you through this plight. 

J C Hicks  ©️ 18/5/23

Letters to Heaven

Letters to Heaven 

If heaven could receive letters what would you say 

So much to say since the day you slipped away 

I’d tell you that I’m doing fine and loving my life

It’s not all been perfect - I’ve had my share of strife.

I feel like you’ve been watching me from afar

I’d often stand, look up and imagine you’re a star

Our world stopped spinning on the day that you left. 

At times my heart hurt so much I felt utterly bereft 

But losing you made me a stronger day by day

I was angry and full of pain that you couldn’t stay 

But time has past and now I see that no-one lives forever 

Our time was precious and I have memories to treasure. 

I hope you are looking down and are proud of who I am

I will live a simple life and strive to be the best person I can 

I will tell my grandchildren what a great person you were

You will live on in my heart and I feel you’re always near. 

J C Hicks  ©️ 19/5/23 

Majestic Trees Standing Tall

Majestic Trees Standing Tall 

You stand majestically surveying your land

Alongside a river which around you it wends

You sit small and lost in the foothills of mountains 

Dwarfed by their greatness but you still stand divine 

Your long reaching branches provide shelter to many 

At the top sits a dark raven and to him it’s his castle 

Your branches provide the vital cover he needs

Camouflage comes from your fresh green leaves

Branches like blankets wrap and hide all life underneath

A sanctuary and home which creatures can live beneath 

So much you see standing tall on the landscape 

How many times have you’ve been an escape

Secrets whispered underneath your strong trunk

Secrets which you and your branches will keep

Standing like a tower for year after year 

My, if only we knew all that you've heard 

J C Hicks copyright 18/5/23 

I hope there is a heaven…

I hope there is a heaven… 

I hope there is a heaven,

above us in all its glory.

Somewhere that I can tell 

my great life story.

A story of much joy

and happiness on the way. 

Will the journey to heaven 

Be a glorious, liberating day?

High above the deep blue sky 

Beyond the stars and moon.

Lies a world wrapped in faith

Where some go way too soon. 

I hope there is a heaven

There for you and me. 

J C Hicks Copyright 18-5-23

Black Dog

Black dog, black dog you swarm into my life.

You creep in and swamp me,

and tape shut my mouth.

You dampen all feelings 

And extinguish all joy.

You’ve blown a dark, joyless fog

Into all parts of mind.

When I look at my reflection

I don’t recognise this vision.

Eyes full of despair,

I feel so lost and alone.

Black dog, black dog you swarm into my life.

An invisible blanket taking my life.

J C Hicks 11/3/23 copyright ©️ 

You Chose To Cross The Final Bridge

You Chose To Cross The Final Bridge 

Just like that you were gone.

I don’t know how I can carry on.

As quick as it takes to flick a switch.

You chose to go over your final bridge.

In an instance all our lives changed. 

We are left - feeling alone and estranged.

You woke up and decided you could take no more.

Why couldn’t you see how much you were cared for.

Feelings of anger surge through my body.

You just checked out and left everybody. 

I’m searching to understand how you felt. 

Despair and hopelessness at the hand dealt?

I’m grieving for such an enormous loss. 

Waves of sadness and anger, I feel so cross.

I’d give anything to just turn back the clock. 

So I could sit with you and we’d just talk.

What can be so bad that you chose this route.

For you to look at your life and decide to check out.

I feel my tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.

This simple emotion, yet volumes it speaks.

I want to scream and shout out loud. 

I feel so alone, even when sat in this crowd.

Alone with my thoughts and unanswered questions.

If you’d have talked it through I’d have made suggestions. 

I was there for you, I was on your side. 

What was it that made your world collide?

Collide and implode with some deep dark secret.

That sent you spiralling into a deep dark rut.

I can’t stop these tears from falling from my eyes.

I should really be sat here full of hate and despise.

I will never understand why you did what you did.

Your sadness and despair you cleverly hid. 

I will cherish our memories of all the good times together.

Who knew I’d soon just be left with memories to treasure.

As quick as it takes to flick a switch. 

You chose to go over your final bridge. 

J C Hicks 28/2/2023 copyright 

 

A Broken Mind

A Broken Mind

I hear you’ve broken your arm.

How on earth did you come to such harm?

Are you in pain? Does it hurt very much?

How annoying you can’t grip or even touch.

I hear you’ve twisted your ankle. 

Fell over and landed at the wrong angle.

I can see how hard it is for you to walk.

I’m here if you want to just sit and talk.

I hear you slipped and broke a rib. 

How on earth did you manage to trip?

I can see the pain you are in as you breathe.

You are doing it through gritted teeth. 

I hear you took a nasty tumble. 

You’ve every right to moan and grumble.

I can see that awful cut on your arm.

You rest up and stay nice and warm.

I hear that she’s just sits around.

Miserable face and deep seated frown.

She never wants to sit and chat.

I can’t be bothered with any of that.

I’m trapped within my own head.

Some days I just lay on my bed.

My mind is broken but nobody knows 

You see broken minds just don’t show.

I try and get out of these four walls.

Sometime I just can’t answer my calls.

So I sit and watch the clock - tick tock. 

If only I had someone who’d just sit and talk.

Mental health is invisible to you and I.

So if someone is aloof maybe ask yourself why. 

Physical injuries are so clear to see. 

A broken mind could happen to you or me.

#mentalhealth #invisibleinjury #pain #talk #bekind

J C Hicks 28/2/23 copyright ©️ 

What’s Your Value?

What’s Your Value?

Cast your mind back to a time not that many months ago.

When we were confined to our houses and had nowhere to go.

Did you notice at that time there was an interesting shift.

It wasn’t the actors, singers and footballers that we missed.

It was the health service workers who helped keep us alive.

It was scientists working tirelessly for a way for us to survive.

We went outside and clapped for them, they were hero’s one and all. 

We were proud if we knew a doctor, nurse or carer always on call.

They risked their lives to save others, at a time we lived in fear.

We were petrified and just wanted to keep our loved ones near.

They looked like aliens behind all their gowns and masks.

They carried out their duties, a list of endless tasks.

And the footballers could do nothing but think outside the box.

As their careers were taken and smashed on the covid ridden rocks.

The public outcry was loud, the health service was our saviour.

Families were in turmoil and some shed many a tear. 

The world suddenly turned human value completely on its head.

Crying out that these people were worth so much, so we should pay them more instead.

Yes we missed our arts and the creators but they couldn’t save  a life. 

Footballers “worth millions” couldn’t spare families from this strife.

How quickly we’ve forgotten what those people all went through.

So much heartache and despair, at the time we wished it wasn’t true.

I will never comprehend how some jobs hold such high value.

Surely as society we can do things better than we do? 

Pembrokeshire Poet - Facebook 

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 6/2/23

The Earth Has Quaked 😢🙏

The Earth Has Quaked 😢🙏

How can we look in the mirror,

And think that we need more.

When people across the globe 

Have had their homes flattened to the floor. 

They didn’t see it coming, didn’t stand a chance.

Buildings no longer standing in the worst circumstance.

People in their beds, now lie in concrete tombs.

These places that were once their safe living rooms. 

Nature at its worst, we really cannot fathom.

Whole towns disappear into the earth’s chasm. 

Thousands lost their lives in a moment of horror.

Now death and destruction on every street corner. 

So when you think you’d just like a bit more.

Be grateful that you live safely behind your own front door. 

Let’s spare a thought and pray for those suffering today. 

Guide them through this time as we look on in dismay.

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 6-2-23

Tomorrow Without You

Tomorrow Without You

I wish I had a superpower, anything would do.

So long as my super power meant I could save you. 

I never knew you were hurting and in so much pain.

That your worries were drowning you like never ceasing rain.

I didn’t read the signs that were so clearly there.

I hate the fact that you may think I didn’t really care.

I can’t imagine what each hour was like, day to day.

I feel so angry that there are things we can never say.

I will never understand what drove you to those lengths.

I wish I could have helped you increase your inner strength.

I wish I was like superman and I’d have taken to the skies.

Turning the world backwards as round the earth I’d fly.

I’d give anything to go back in time and hold you in my arms.

If you’d let me in I could have helped you through the storms.

I have a pain in my chest like nothing I’ve ever felt.

It tightens around my neck, gripping tightly like a belt.

At times I’m filled with anger at the decision that you took.

If only I’d realised that your life wasn’t an open book.

I thought that I knew you and you’d always be right there.

Now I’m left with a gaping hole and feeling such despair.

I wish I had a superpower, anything would do.

If only it meant I could spend one more day with you.

And help ease the pain that you were wading through.

Now I’m left with facing all the tomorrows without you. 

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 6/2/23

A Dog Should Be For Life

A Dog Should Be For Life

Another long, dark lonely night.

Sat pondering my awful plight. 

I sit and watch the sun rise up.

A sight I loved when I was a pup.

I bury my head into my bed.

At least here I do get fed.

That lovely lady takes me walkies.

I cock my head while she tells me stories.

I look deep into her dark brown eyes.

Maybe she needs me to apologise.

I’m not sure why - I’ve done no wrong.

But she won’t take me home where I belong.

She comes each day to take me out.

But leaves me here no matter how loud I shout.

I don’t understand what it is I’ve done. 

I think back to the days when life was fun.

I had a family who loved me dearly. 

I must have done something wrong, clearly. 

One day they bundled me into the car.

We took a journey that was so bizarre.

I tried to comfort them on the way. 

As tears streamed down their faces. 

Then they left me at this strange place.

They said I’d be kept warm and safe.

And here I’ve been for oh so long.

I no longer have a home where I belong. 

People come and sit and cuddle me.

But none of them set me free.

So here I sit in this caged, suffocating prison.

Sitting, waiting to be a family’s new addition. 

I long to lie in a sun filled garden again.

With a trip to the beach every now and then. 

I curl down and listen to my room mates.

What if I’m stuck here in this place.

I had a family, I had a home.

And now I sit here - all alone 💔.

J C Hicks ©️ copyright 31-1-2023

Riches of Life

Riches of Life 

Dear God

I know you don’t hear from me much

You may say we are out of touch

But I’m struggling and need a friend

Someone to help my broken heart mend.

I have no money and I have no hope

It’s hard day to day just to cope.

“My child, what’s the problem - I’m always here.

Don’t worry, speak freely and with no fear.”

My children just need more and more.

Every day feels like a huge chore.

“My child, what is that your children need?”

So much it makes my sad heart bleed.

“My child, don’t get sad and so upset.

You’ve lived a life with no regret.”

But I can’t give my children what they want.

Their friends have started to mock and taunt.

“My child, I ask you to open your eyes.

Look beyond just the immediate skies.”

I don’t understand what is it that you mean.

“I mean look beyond what it is you’ve seen.”

“Do your children have food in their belly?

They don’t go around dirty and smelly.

Do they sleep with a roof over their head?

Have they got their own cosy bed?”

Well yes Lord, they do have those things.

But it’s the other things pulling at my heartstrings.

They want the latest games and mobile phone 

They want new toys and a flying drone.

They want the latest designer clothes.

I can barely ensure theirs have no holes.

“My child, open your eyes and look wider.

You really are their steady, reliable provider.”

I really don’t understand what you mean?

Look beyond what I have seen?

“My child, do you really think you are poor?

Because you do not live a life of grandeur?”

“Riches aren’t made up of money in the bank.

Your life is so rich, it’s not dark and dank.

You have a roof above your head.

Children asleep in their own bed.”

“Your family is safe, dry and warm.

You keep them away from any harm.

You all have your health and each other.

Surely this makes you the best mother?”

“You may feel poor and inadequate.

You really mustn’t feel second rate.

Look beyond your own small horizon.

In other countries there are those barely surviving.”

“Riches come from deep within your heart.

Shelter, warmth, food - that’s a great start.

Some children in the world have none of this.

Some have nothing, roaming streets, motherless.”

“So give thanks for the good things in your life.

There are always others with more trouble and strife.

There will always be others who have so much more

But remember there are those who are truly poor.”

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 30-1-2023

Benji and Lucy Lou are off on a trip ….🥳

Benji and Lucy Lou are off on a trip 

She’s taking us in the car

I wonder if we are going far?

I am so excited I can’t keep quiet 

Come on let’s start a riot! 

She’s put us in the back together.

Oh I do hope this is a trip for pleasure.

Let’s sing a song, loud and sharp

Intertwined with a few loud barks. 

I think we may be heading to the beach.

Let’s use this time to plan our siege.

There’s bound to be other dogs there.

Man maybe there will be dogs everywhere!

I’m buzzing I can’t stop whining.

Hey we can even go off rock climbing.

We can dip our paws into the rock pools.

Do zoomies like a couple of fools.

Oh hang on a minute - what’s this.

She’s turned off and telling us to sit. 

This road does look a bit familiar.

Somethings a foot - this is peculiar.

Oh no I really don’t like this.

I’m changing my whining to a higher pitch.

She’s taking us to that horrible place.

I’m desperately doing a memory retrace.

Yes it is the place - the place that I hate. 

Oh man I hope this visit is for you mate.

Last time I was here he stuck his finger up my bottom.

He also rather rudely said my breath was rotten! 

I’m sat in the back simpering and shaking.

Well to be honest I’m actually quaking. 

Here she comes to get me out

Ready Lucy Lou - do your pout.

I dig my heels in and put my head down.

I will do my best to give her the run around.

It’s no good she’s dragged me in.

I’m sitting here completely on pins.

The man comes out and looks around.

Well this is it - the final countdown. 

What delights will it be today.

Prodded and poked much to my dismay.

The man steps forward and I cower down.

I need to escape so I look all around.

The man shouts out  “Lucy Lou”.

Ha ha - I turn - that’s you! That’s you!

Your face has dropped, your ears are down.

But me whoop whoop I’m dancing round.

The man turns to walk away 

He stops and has one more thing to say …..

Bring Benji through as well …….

What me? I don’t even feel unwell!

It’s no good resisting she’s dragging me through.

Oh heck - I think I may need the loo! 

J C Hicks ©️ copyright 24-1-23

Child’s Play

Child’s Play 

Everything’s is new and needs exploring.

No minute is dull and no day is boring.

Every surface feels suspiciously strange.

But not everything is yet in my range.

What’s over here? I am very curious.

Whatever it is, it looks rather glorious.

Oh but here we go I’m being pulled up.

Mum has come along and my games up.

As hard as I try I never quite get there.

Mum is always there telling me to beware.

But everything looks so exciting and tempting 

I don’t understand why she’s trying to protect me.

As I toddle around I seek out new items.

But wherever I trundle my mums always frightened.

As soon as I pick up that object to lick 

She’s taken it off me - darn that woman is slick.

We went out with the dogs for a little walk.

How did I know you are not meant to eat leafstalks?

We went to this place called a beach.

I was soon just out of my mum's reach.

I look at the substance beneath my feet

Wow that looks pretty, good enough to eat.

I grab at a handful of those tiny grains 

In my mouth I pop it mmm it sure is strange.

It’s gritty, hard and crunchy as well. 

I’m thinking I will also lick my seashell.

I bring the shell up towards my mouth 

Before I know it mum has pulled it out.

She’s shouting again, sometimes she’s no fun.

I think this could be my cue to just run! 

At home mum has things she calls candles.

I like to chew them but she thinks that’s a scandal!

She’s up out her chair and like that, it’s gone 

Here she goes, she’s going to ramble on.

I mustn’t eat that they don’t taste nice 

She’s pleading with me to follow her advice.

Her advice is so boring as I mustn’t touch this,

She goes on and on and then she wants a kiss! 

I really don’t get it, this woman filled with love.

As she’s tutting and moving candles way up above.

I don’t understand why she’s spoiling my fun. 

I think I may win this game in the long run.

I sit and stare at the array of toys.

They are colourful and lots make a noise. 

I glance round the room so much to explore.

That’s without what lies beyond that door. 

I will just post my toys through that slot I can see.

Oh man here’s my mum and once again she disagrees. 

Apparently toys must go away in “the box”.

My cars, the trains, the teddy’s and blocks.

I’m not to put them under the settee.

And apparently the toilet doesn’t “set them free”.

So many rules I just don’t understand.

Sometimes I just scream and lie on the ground. 

But my mum smooths my hair and kisses my head.

She gently tells me the days done and it’s time for bed.

I am rather tired, it’s hard work being an explorer.

Maybe tomorrow it will all seem much clearer. 

I do seem to learn a little bit more each day.

Wow it’s really hard work this child’s play! 

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 22-1-23

The Deep Grip of Grief

The Deep Grip of Grief 

Grief you swarm in suffocating every emotion.

Like a dark substance you silently creep everywhere.

Seeping through every part of my mind and body.

Clouding everything- removing all feelings.

Leaving me numb.

Pain crawling up from the pit of my stomach.

Your grip around my throat is so tight.

 I cannot speak.

I cannot breathe.

I cannot think.

You swept in like someone in a rage.

Turning everything in my life upside down.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

Everything seems pointless.

A deep fog swirling around my mind.

I can’t see.

I can’t hear.

I can’t feel.

Life changed forever.

I sit alone in the darkness.

I don’t want other people's comfort.

Other people's kind words.

Other people's warm embrace.

Other people want to hug my pain away.

It feels like there is no point in continuing.

Without you.

My rock.

My anchor.

Day’s feel endless.

Like there’s no beginning or end.

I feel as if my feet are in concrete blocks.

Every step is an effort.

Every word forced out of my mouth.

My mouth that was once filled with laughter.

I wake up.

Another day ahead of me.

I look towards the window.

I stare at the light forcing its way through the tiniest gap.

I think if that light can find a way to shine through that tiny gap, surely I can find the strength to live my life.

I look at the shard of light, falling onto the carpet.

I track its root - amazed how far that small beam reaches.

I wonder if my life has been as wide reaching.

I look at the sunlight shining in and notice how when it bounces off other objects it changes.

Beautiful lilacs, pinks, yellow, gold and green 

It’s fascinating that one chink can touch so much.

In that moment I realise that I still have so much to offer.

So many other lives that I can help.

I can shine my light into their world.

In their darkness I can help be their light.

I smile - I sense you are nearby.

I sense you are telling me “you can do this”

I sense that I still have a purpose.

This is a new chapter in my life. 

As I start to heal I feel the dark grip of grief lessen its hold on me.

I know that the grief will never leave me - it’s part of me - some days it may be all of me but other days I will be that chink of light and spread my rainbow of hope to others. 

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 19/1/23

How far is it between earth and heaven?

 How Far is it between earth and heaven? 

It’s a long way between heaven and earth

You look up at the sky - I look back to your birth.

Above lies sky, clouds, stars, planets and moons.

Some places only seen by a meteorological balloon.

Yes we can stand and admire heavens night show.

As the stars and planets emerge and gently glow.

But what if the journey from earth to heaven 

Is actually living and our daily life lessons.

It starts with your birth - the day you were born 

Right until the moment from where there is no return. 

Your life may long or it may be short 

Lived alone or with lots of support.

So what is the journey from earth to heaven?

That is the lifelong unanswered question. 

Most of us live every day in a mundane fashion 

Some live life fast paced which oozes passion.

We constantly look to others for approval.

Other peoples opinions seem to be crucial.

We can’t seem to live life in our own lane.

Accepting the joys along with the pain.

Each day that breaks is another one of our journey 

Some days idyllic whilst some feel quite stormy.

But whatever the bumps in that lifelong road

We must keep on learning as our life unfolds.

So when we reach our life journeys end 

And to our final resting place we do wend

Reflect on the path your life journey took you.

All that your mind, soul and body went through.

This marks the distance between earth and heaven 

Your life should have felt like a special procession 

So as you sit and reflect on your life today 

Just remember live life to the fullest, come what may.

J C Hicks copyright ©️ 18/1/2023

 

You’ve Got This

You’ve Got This 

Don’t worry I’ve been where you’ve been.

I’ve felt all those feelings you are feeling.

I’ve nursed a broken heart.

I’ve felt pain so deep I could barely breath.

I’ve walked every step with you.

Been here for you.

But so often you dismissed me.

Didn’t notice me.

I quietly picked up the pieces.

I knew we’d be able to put them back together.

Maybe not today.

Maybe not tomorrow.

But once you were strong again.

I knew we’d fix you.

I always had faith in you.

You never believed in that faith.

But that didn’t stop me from having that faith.

I am your safety net.

Your constant.

Your guide.

Your confidant.

My eyes bore into yours.

I implore you to believe you are strong.

You’ve got this.

You can do anything.

I look deep into your soul.

See your scars.

Feel your hurt.

Lived through your healing.

Look harder.

You are looking at your greatest power.

You.

You take one more glance into the mirror.

I smile back at you.

You’ve got this. 

J C Hicks  © 

13.12.22

That old jumper

That old jumper

 As you go through life you accumulate things

accumulate accumulate accumulate

clothing, jewellery, books, ornaments, photos

material things

accumulate...................

but you also accumulate people

forge friendships over time

people - like clothing in our wardrobe

we keep adding to the wardrobe

adding adding adding

the wardrobe gets fuller and fuller

and that once cherished jumper gets pushed further and further back

you now no longer wear it - but yet you can't let it go

you pick it up, hold it and a flood of memories wash over you

you remember that trip to the theatre, the time you fell over out walking

the time you were told a loved one had died, the time your new puppy lay on it

a garment, a thing, an item but yet you feel an emotional attachment to it

so you see people can feel like that clothing

we travel through life, along our path meeting lots of people as we go

some we try on for size and the fit is just not right 

so many others we have a strong bond with but as time passes it lessens

you don't love them any less but with all the new things entering your life

they slowly ebb further away

but yet when you think of them your heart is full of joy

so many good times and memories that your cherish

so whilst you may no longer see them regularly your still hold them dear

so like that beautiful faithful old jumper you still want it in your life

because you know that you could just pick it back up and it would still fit just right

J C Hicks copyright 5-1-2023